Back on Track

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. - Hebrews 3:12-13

Last week was CRAZY!! Really. Even though Ray started a new medication on Sunday, I went into the week still reeling from the irrationality of the weekend. I didn't get Gage to one of his soccer games because I was so overwhelmed, I just forgot. Gunnar had an argument with his very best friends at lunch, and I reprimanded Gunnar before getting the whole story. Turns out, Gunnar was innocent. THAT made me feel like 'Mom of the Year'. Gunnar's horse rolled over him, so I spent Tuesday night in the ER, and then most of the night waking him up and checking on him (he had a concussion). Of course, I didn't go to work Wednesday, but didn't get anything accomplished at home because I was catching up on the sleep I missed Tuesday night. I sent Gunnar back to school Thursday and that was a HUGE mistake. As it turns out, he was still having memory loss. Mom and Dad left for Hobbs on Thursday and took Gage with them, so that left me taking care of Ray, Gunnar, and all the livestock. I didn't send Gunnar to school on Friday, but I went to work. I spent Friday worried about him. I think it was late Thursday before the seriousness of Gunnar's accident really sank in. Gunnar made the All-Region Choir, but had to miss the concert Saturday because of his concussion. I cancelled my trip to Hobbs for Kip and Callie's birthday for that concert, and ended up missing both. I spent most of the week crying. Literally. I don't how I managed to NOT break down in the middle of class, but I pulled it off. Barely.

It's amazing the difference a couple of days can make. I divided my time this weekend between sleeping and working on school stuff. I didn't clean my house, but my sanity is intact. Gunnar is MUCH better. He did his math this morning, and described it as "easy". Thursday night it was "impossible". Ray's new medication has kicked in and he is "normal" again. Of course, I have now seen where this road leads, and let me just say, it is a scary, scary place. I'm thankful that I didn't go to New Mexico. Kip and Callie had the flu and as exhausted as I have been, I'm pretty much guaranteed to catch anything. I certainly don't have time for the flu. And because Gunnar couldn't go to the concert, we both got another day to recuperate.

Last week was a hard week, but I survived. I am incredibly blessed to have the most amazing friends. They sat with Gunnar and me in the ER Tuesday night, they had dinner on my doorstep (literally) when we got home from the ER, they helped me set up labs, and let me whine and cry about how exhausted and overwhelmed I felt. I was given refuge in a home to get away from my classroom. My boss took a huge load of responsibility off of me and put it back where it belonged. I had given it to myself, but she knew it was time for me to let it go, and didn't make me feel the least bit guilty about unloading it.

I cannot tell you how hopeful I am about the new week. I cannot describe the difference in Ray when he is on medication and when he isn't. It's not just that his thinking is different. His entire personality changes when he isn't taking it. He just walked in and told me I can't quit my job to write a blog (I think it's from the Oscar Meyer Deli meat commercial). It's little, but it makes my heart sing. There he is. The real Ray. Witty and playful. Then he sat down and pet the chihuahua he never wanted, but now doesn't deny he loves. And then he headed off to clean up the supper mess because he knows I'm tired.

And I guess that's it. I just wanted everyone to know that the new medication seems to be working, and things are looking up again for a while. I'm off to help Ray finish up the kitchen!