Small Miracles

At Ray's last, and somewhat devastating, doctor's appointment, Dr. Knapik suggested Ray take Aricept to improve his memory and cognitive skills. Aricept is generally used to treat Alzheimer's patients, and comes in two doses, 10mg and 23mg. Ray is taking the 10mg dose which is supposed to have lower side effects. Thankfully, the only one that we can see is that Ray has started getting leg cramps.

I have to admit, I wasn't very optimistic that medication would help. Ray's condition is degenerative, but it's not Alzheimer's. And because it is degenerative, I wasn't certain that a medication could keep up with the degeneration. Dr. Knapik said that 20% of patients taking  maintain their current level of thinking and that the other 80% actually see improvement for a time. I can't describe how desperately I wanted Ray to be one of the ones that improved.

We filled Ray's prescription on Friday, July 6. Every day for the first week I asked Ray if he felt smarter. I was teasing...kind of... I finally stopped watching and waiting for something big to happen, and we went on with life. About the time we filled the prescription, Ray had started falling a lot. He couldn't even walk across our den without holding onto furniture and walls. I ordered a cane that Ray could use around the house and while we were on vacation.

I started to write an update on Ray's condition before we left for our vacation, but I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell if the Aricept was helping or not. It's hard to see a change when you see someone every day, and really, I see Ray for a few hours at the end of the day when he's exhausted. I really couldn't see a difference here at home.

We pulled into my aunt's house on August 5. She hadn't seen Ray since April and she could immediately see that he was better. After Vernell pointed it out, I realized that Ray hadn't been using his cane for at least a week. Ray did really well all through our vacation. He played chicken foot dominoes without help, walked all over Six Flags WITHOUT A CANE (it was in my bag in case he needed it), and was even able to stand and hold Kip for a few minutes. These things sound so small, but I didn't expect Ray to be able to stay at Six Flags all day, much less walk it all day without a cane. Three weeks ago he couldn't hold himself up, but there he is holding Kip!!

I don't know how long Aricept can keep up with the degeneration. Even though I know Ray will eventually get worse, I'm incredibly thankful that it has provided us with an increased quality of life for however long it lasts. We'll take all the time we can get.

The Value of a Vacation

Family vacations aren't something we do often. Before last week, I think our last week-long vacation was four years ago. Ray's health problems have made me realize that I might need to make some things a priority right now.  My entire perspective of the world shifted last December, and I decided that a family vacation was in order while we are all still able to enjoy it. I had several epiphanies along the way.

I recalled the value of getting away from your normal scenery. For us, that doesn't just mean leaving Booker, but leaving Booker and not going to a rodeo. I took this picture as the sun rose over Lake Texhoma while we were on a fishing trip. I'm still amazed that I got such a spectacular shot, but I am more amazed by the feeling I get every time I look at it. This photo is now the background on my phone, so I look at it hundreds of times a day. Every single time I see it, the sense of calm and serenity I had that morning sweeps over me. It seems so simple, but I'd forgotten the blessing of seeing God's beauty in other places.

I saw my boys in new ways, and even glimpses of what they will be like when they are grown.

Gage was fascinated by the bait fish. He scooped dead ones out of the live well, removed dead bait from our hooks, and even replaced the dead bait with fresh. Gage has the Bouchelle work-a-holic gene. Fishing isn't for him. He worked the entire fishing trip. He only fished after a fish was on the line because reeling is active.It requires effort. Gage spent most of the trip swimming around the boat to splash and attract the fish, and watching the monitor. He never stopped moving. That boy is going places.

Gage is also an adrenaline junkie. I should know that since he is a bull rider. Six Flags might have upped the ante though. The picture to the right; that is the Texas Giant. Gage is in one of those cars at the top. I am not. My favorite line from the week was at Six Flags when  Lance said, "Gage, if you ever walk into a room and we are all there, and it's not your birthday, it's an intervention."

I realize I've bought Gage a lot of books about sharks over the years. What I didn't realize was that he has read and memorized every single one of them. His knowledge of marine life is overwhelming. You wouldn't know he's never seen the ocean. He ran from exhibit to exhibit naming all the fish and even some of the plants, and telling us all sorts of facts about them. His excitement at Dallas World Aquarium has inspired me to plan an aquatic vacation in the future.

Gunnar was Mr. Responsible. I forget how close he is to being an adult. He didn't just drive the boat. He launched it, drove it up to docks, and even loaded it back onto the trailer. He took care of the awning and latches and all of the other things that I didn't even realize needed to happen. He loaded and unloaded ice chests and tubes and life jackets and ropes. He did all the things his dad should have been doing, but wasn't able to do. And he did it with maturity and wisdom beyond his years. 

You notice there is no picture of Gunnar at Six Flags. I don't think he was there for more than six hours. He rode a few roller coasters, but it turns out, he's a lot like his dad when it comes to amusement parks. He spent a lot of time at the hotel with Kip and Callie. I'm glad that he got to spend time with them. They are too far away.

I saw my family interact and play together in ways they don't at home. 

Ray was actually able rough house with the boys. Ray isn't able to wrestle them on land. He can't keep his balance and doesn't have the strength he should for a man his age. Turns out, water is the great equalizer. Gunnar said to me on our last afternoon at the lake, "Mom, did you see Dad in the water? It's like he's reborn!" They laughed and romped in the water for hours on end. It's the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

My kids unplugged for the week. They didn't watch TV and spent very little time with iPods, phones, or even my Kindle. The played dominoes, acted silly, wrestled in the water sprinkler, and sprayed each other with the hose. Even though we try to limit the amount of time they spend in front of electronics, it was nice to see them free of it for the week. In fact, they played together so well, they started to get on our nerves. I guess if you are going to have a problem, that's a good one to have.

More than anything, I realized the value of family. Not just my little family of four, but of my extended family. My Uncle Bill and Aunt Phyllis gifted us the fishing trip. Floating around on the pontoon boat trolling would have been sufficient, but they wanted Ray to fish with his boys.

We stayed with my Aunt Vernell at Lake Texhoma. It's like staying at a Bed & Breakfast that also does lunch and dinner...but for free...and with a boat. She also went with us to Arlington and helped take care of Kip and Callie, who are still a tad too young to fully enjoy Six Flags.

My mom took care of things at home, and did more for us than I can even describe.




I mentioned our vacation plans to Jamie back in July. She said, "I want to go to Six Flags. Maybe we can meet you there?" I didn't know what a gift that was at the time. I think Gage rode the Superman and the Titan six times each. Lance and Jamie rode with him over and over while Kip and Callie were at the hotel. I know it wasn't the ideal vacation for them, but it meant everything to us.



When we pulled out for this vacation I knew that I would be carrying all the responsibility, doing all the driving, and taking care of everything along the way. I thought I could do it on my own, but my family knew better. I can't thank them enough. Our vacation was one of the blessings that has come from Ray's illness. It's not just taking the kids away somewhere fun for a week. It's all the things you discover along the way.

All in Good Time

Earlier this week I signed my contract to teach science this year. When I posted my big news to Facebook, I was overwhelmed with the love shown by my friends and family. The "likes" and comments were uplifting, and gave me some much-needed confidence. However, there was one particular comment that I kept returning to, looking at, and contemplating. My friend Stacy said, "Glad to see God's timing in this for you." In fact, I still tear up when I read that comment. I'm so blessed to have a friend that knows my heart and my needs, and also has the wisdom to point out the obvious to me when I miss it.

Three years ago I decided to enter an alternative teaching certification program. I'd only used my college education for five years since graduating in 1999, and teaching seemed like a good way to put it to use here in rural Texas. I completed an online program through Region 4, and only needed a semester of student teaching or a one year paid internship to complete the process. Region 4 gives the prospective teacher three years to find a position. Since I'd finished at the end of August, the prospects of finding a job that first year weren't very good. So, I decided to substitute teach for one year. Then one year turned into two, and then two into three....

I've spent the last three years working part-time. I've had a flexible schedule, and a small paycheck. We've stretched pennies and made sacrifices. We found out what was important to us, and what we could let go. It wasn't always comfortable, but it always worked. It wasn't until I realized how bad Ray's condition was that I became obsessed about getting a real job. I even considered leaving education entirely because I just wasn't getting anywhere.

And then the phone rang... I thought it was a "hey, we want to interview you for a job" call, but it was a "hey, you have a job" call. I guess since the junior high principal has seen me in action on an almost-daily basis for three years, there probably isn't a question to ask me that she doesn't already know the answer. I am grateful, and blessed, and happy.

If I had been given this position three years ago, I wouldn't have... I couldn't have, fully appreciated the opportunity. The extra income and insurance availability would not have been the blessing on my family that it is now. I didn't waste three years of my life. I've spent three years learning some of the best techniques for classroom management from some of the best teachers. I understand the curriculum and the standards in ways I couldn't have three years ago. Three years has given me wisdom to not just implement rules and policies, but to understand the reason we have certain rules and policies. I've learned exactly how I want my classroom to run, the kind of teacher I want to be, and how to make both of those things happen. I've learned from my mistakes and from my successes.

Three years for my dream to come to fruition. Three years of hoping and praying and waiting. Three years of frustration. But God had a plan for me, and then it happened. Not in my time, but all in good time. All in God's time.