Rescue Me

Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. Psalm 119:49-50

To say that the week was tumultuous... Well, you get the idea. It was a pretty tough week. I was rescued though. Friends and family gathered near to pray with us and for us, and to care for my family. Ray's brother, Tony, came down from Indiana. I think it's been at least five years since they've seen each other. Gunnar had a ball game in Pampa, so I got time with my family too. Dad drove me down, and my brother, Luke, and my cousin and his family, Richard, Tiffany, and Rylan, all came to the game. I started a new Bible study (on my own) dealing with hope, or rather, the loss of it. I had lots of due dates, students, and activities to keep my mind busy all week. Otherwise, I might have lost it. I even had a good dose of the flu to force me into bed this weekend. I'm not even sure it was the flu. It could have been exhaustion. Really? Who would have thought? (There really should be 'sarcastic' font.)

We made a drastic mistake regarding Ray's health and state of mind this week. We (Ray, the doctor, and I) all felt that Aricept wasn't doing a very good job of keeping up with Ray's deterioration. We were WRONG!!! The side effects were really getting to Ray, so we (all three of us) decided that Ray should come off of the Aricept and see how it worked. Thankfully, Dr. Knappick sent home a starter kit for Namenda. We started it today. Ray without the meds is BAD!! He was furious with me yesterday morning for being sick. He kept waking me up, and complaining that I was in bed. After I threatened to go to my mom's to sleep, he finally left me alone. When I woke up, he had a Cabela's catalog and was shopping for a new gun. Uh, we have guns. Ray can't shoot those without supervision. Buying another is completely out of the question. Of course, when I mentioned this to him, he looked at me as if I am the one losing my mind. We started Namenda this morning. I have done ZERO research. I have no idea what I just gave him. For my sanity, I pray it helps. I'll do research later. This weekend gave me a very scary glimpse of where we are headed.

Oh, and we had another huge blessing!! Ray's pickup broke down. Yes, that is a blessing!!! I'm not getting it fixed until he is in a better frame of mind. If it worked he probably would have loaded guns into it and taken off for who-knows-where while I was asleep yesterday. If you've seen Ray's pickup, you know he really needs a new one. That's become an issue of contention also. I'm not buying a new pickup for three reasons: 1) I really can't afford a new pickup, 2) Ray might not be able to drive in another year, and I'll be making payments on a pickup sitting in my driveway, and 3) If he had a different vehicle, he would probably wreck it. Not meaning to be tacky here, but Ray knows the dimensions and locations of things on that pickup. I'm not sure he could 'learn' that on a new vehicle.

And on that note...I am looking into some other doctors for Ray. His brain is wasting away. I don't think there is anything else that can be done. I've researched every test (and the results from those tests) myself. I believe in all my heart that we have the correct diagnosis. I don't dislike Dr. Knappick, and we're probably not leaving him forever. We just need to say that we tried everything. For my sake, for Ray's sake, and for the kids' sake.

I bought my new study book before Ray's appointment Monday. We got to Enid early so Ray could have Cherry Berry. Even after eating, we still had a few minutes to kill, so we walked into the Christian bookstore two doors down. I didn't go in planning to make a purchase, but walked out with "The One Year Book of Hope." It was a good purchase. I'm still on Day 1 of Week 1, but I read a little bit of the Bible chapters that go with it every night, and I keep coming back to the verse above. I may be on this chapter for another week.  Or two.

I'm off to finish school work I didn't get finished yesterday. Lesson plans and such. I'm looking forward to the new week, and hoping it's better than the last.